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She said ... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?He said ... A widow.He said ... Why are married women heavier than single women?She said ... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!”She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!”This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, “Quickly! Another beer! It’s gonna start any second!””That’s it!” She blows her top. “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”The husband sighed. “Oh shit. It’s started.”A. Where was he? Why was he late? Was he coming at all?Would he be wearing a skirt? Or would he totally chicken out andunwrap his male pants? She had pulled a pair of his female slacks outof her hamper and had them ready for him in case it looked like hecouldn't handle it. But hopefully, she wouldn't need them. Where washe?The knock finally came at her door and she ran to open it. He stoodthere looking more nervous than she had ever seen him before - exceptperhaps that Sunday when she had made him go to the grocery store in askirt.He dropped a quick curtsey to her. "Good morning, Mistress," hemumbled through the pacifier that for once was already in his mouth."Good morning, Sissy," she replied as if there was nothing out of theordinary going on. She stepped back and let him inside and closed thedoor behind him. "You're late!" she said sternly."I know," he replied. "I'm sorry," he said as he dropped another quickcurtsey. "I had a lot of trouble figuring out what to wear.
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